--> you are beautiful.

you are beautiful.

 Abbey. 17. Adelaide.
this is my weightloss journey, and no one is going to stop me no matter how 'beautiful' i am.
this is all for me and no-one else. I started doing this the healthy way but ive became obsessive and i restrict, my friends get worried a lot,To the point where they think i have an ED... im starting to think they may be right. But at the same time im healthy i walk, run, do wii fit, eat fruit and veggies and all those healthy alternatives and i smoke :/ i try not to do it often, but yeah. At school I eat barely anything, Lately I havent gone over 200cal, I like it this way, its so much easier to avoid food at school. Dimi and Jake are the most amazing best friends. Rowan <3 Im obsessed with hip bones and collar bones, they are lovely.
2011 the year of change. im about 5'4 in height btw!
this is my progress blog(ask for the password) - progressxo.tumblr.com
HW: 85.4kg.187.9 lbs[x]
SW:80kg.176 lbs[x]
CW: 65.8kg 144.8 lbs[x]
GW1: 75kg. 165 lbs[x]
GW2: 70kg. 154 lbs[x]
GW3: 65kg. 143 lbs
GW4: 60kg. 132 lbs
UGW: 55kg. 121lbs

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I cant make myself get out of bed today. At one point i thought this was all a bad dream… Unfortunately not. I want you back… :’(

Ranty rant rant.

So its over.
Least ill be this fucked up little insecure mess again. And mum will be happy that im gettinf skinnier again.
Right now i want to go outside and puke in the garden.
Ill drink every weekend again, smoke with jake, end up not eating to the point where i shake uncontrollably and walk whenever i can and wii fit for hours on end!
And i miss this!…. This is what ill become again.
This fucked up little fragile mess who her friends will be afraid of breaking if they hug her… I wont like it… But itll be better than this.

And were over just like that… Im such a mess right now. Least ill get back to focusing on being a sexy skinny bitch… Because lets face it i need something to fill time up now and i want to look fucking tiny again and the thought of eating makes me sick at the moment… Least i can go back to being a skinny mentally fucked up bitch…. I want my boyfriend and that. My eyes hurt from crying… I want you back.

Ever since i was little ive never showed that im hurt… But this hurts more than a scraped knee… :’(

I cant handle this right now… :(

Rowan <3

I know lately we both feel like were not happy about something… But i adore you. And miss you x

For every :) i get in my ask ill post a confession.

.

Oh its late ill pour my heart out.

So…. I know im not the skinniest or prettyest person. But i have a big heart. Let me in and ill grow to love you and appreciate having you around, im actually pretty nice when you get to know me (: but if you fuck me over, ill become your worst nightmare. My gorgeous rowan, you are one of the most amazing people in my life. And although sometimes i feel like im annoying you, its unintentional. I adore you and theres no one else id rather spend my time with. Its true… If you stop looking you’ll find someone (:

30627) I feel like I’ll never be thin enough to impress anyone, especially myself. I feel like every time I eat something, anything, I’m guilty of a crime of some sort. I tried to abstain from food, but it certainly does not work. I’m certain I’m just never going to be skinny, like all the beautiful girls are.

(Source: confessionsabouteatingdisorders)

Reblog if you’d like 3 messages from a curious anon.

(Source: valuri, via teenage-nightlife)